Why Do Men Keep Putting Me in the Girlfriend-Zone? -
You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.
But then, then comes the fateful moment where you find out that all this time, he’s only seen you as a potential girlfriend. And then if you turn him down, he may never speak to you again. This has happened to me time after time: I hit it off with a guy, and, for all that I’ve been burned in the past, I start to think that this one might actually care about me as a person. And then he asks me on a date.
I tell him how much I enjoy his company, how much I value his friendship. I tell him that I really want to be his friend and to continue hanging out with him and talking about our favorite books or exploring new restaurants or making fun of avant-garde theatre productions. But he rejects me. He doesn’t answer my calls or e-mails; if we’d been making plans to do something before this fateful incident, these plans mysteriously fail to materialize. (This is why I never did get around to seeing the Hunger Gamesmovie. Not to name any names, but thanks a lot, Tom.) Later, when I run into him at social events, our conversations are awkward and lukewarm. This is because the moment we met, he put me in the girlfriend-zone, and now he can’t see me as friend material.
I must say that I find this really unfair. I mean, I’m a nice girl. I have a lot to offer as a friend, like not being a douchebag and stuff. But males just don’t want to be friends with nice girls like me. They can’t help it, I guess; it’s just how they’re wired, biologically. Evolution conditioned our male hominid ancestors to seek nice girls as mates and form friendship bonds only with the other dudes that they hunted mammoths with. It’s true—I know this because I studied hominids in my fifth-grade science class.
So what’s the answer? Should I take up mammoth-hunting in an attempt to appeal to the friendship centers of men’s primal lizardbrains? Should I keep making guy “friends” and then prevent them from making a move on me by subtly undermining their self-confidence? Should I just give up on those manipulative, game-playing, two-faced bastards once and for all? I don’t know. I mean, I’d really like to have a true friendship with a guy someday, but it’s so hard to trust and respect them when they never say what they mean—and you never know when you might be relegated to the girlfriend-zone.
(via thatonechick42)
does anyone else read the lips of people on gifs to figure out what part of the text they are saying idk bye
(via thatonechick42)
Stats Pr0n of the Day: U.S. Map of Hate Speech on Twitter
Since June 2012, Dr. Monica Stevens of Humboldt State University in California has been mapping more than 150,000 geotagged tweets that contain homophobic, racist or abliest language. The result is the Geography of Hate, an interactive map of the U.S. which reveals the hotspots of “hate tweets” across the country. A deeper analysis of the project is available at Floating Sheep.
And of course my state is right in the middle of it. I’m not surprised.
Not surprised by the spot of hate I see in California’s central valley.
You know, the one that gives housewives/full-time mothers a pension— wages for housework?
It’s ONLY A HUGE VICTORY FOR FEMINISM, SOCIALISM, AND WOMEN OF COLOR. Not a big deal or anything. Tumblr is mysteriously silent about this.
http://rabble.ca/columnists/2013/05/venezuelas-new-labour-law-best-mothers-day-gift
holy shit!
fucking COOL
This is fucking fantastic!
wHy
hello yes, 911 send me an aMBULANCE
(Source: onginalmaz, via remuslovestonks)
i think there should be AU’s and then there should be UA’s
because Universe Alterations would be a good name for when your characters are in the exact same universe but you’re altering just a couple of plot points or a few character traits
EVERYONE WE ALL NEED TO MAKE THIS A THING
GOD THIS WOULD MAKE SHIT SO MUCH EASIER
(via nerdyhbic)
Plot twist: The next companion is a normal girl/boy who only dies once in their lifetime and has no remarkable back story but he thinks they’re wonderful because they are human and the Doctor needs reminding that you don’t need to be a mystery to be remarkable.
(via well-thats-ood)
[video]
[video]
![kreedcher:
lupinatic:
never-was-and-never-will-be:
harrypotterconfessions:
I’ve always wanted a relationship like James and Lily. Because even though Lily stubbornly rejected him, he still chased after her. I would imagine that if she was mad at him, James would still chase after her. Because he loved her. I finally found a boy that pushes my buttons, and will chase after me. And instead of “I do”, our vows will be Harry Potter quotes. “Always.” And “Until the very end.” Because I’ll still love him until the end of time, always.
This is really not healthy. Boys who ignore your repeated “no”s because they go against their own desires are not safe boys to be around. They are not boys who love you. Boys who love you respect you. [And girls who love you respect you. And people who are third-gendered or gender-queer or agender respect you if they love you.] People who love you respect you. People who respect you listen to you the very first time you tell them no.
You called it “stubborn” for Lily to reject James when they were fifteen. Why did you do that? Isn’t it possible that she genuinely didn’t like him back then? If you liked a boy, you wouldn’t make him chase you, would you? You’d say yes the first time he asked. I hope you would, anyway, because it’s also extremely unhealthy to set up a relationship dynamic where one party is constantly being forced to prove themself to the other party and put up with bullshit mind games purely so that the other party can feel special.
I don’t like how most of the fandom entertains the idea that he asked her out every Hogsmeade weekend, month, week, day, hour, minute. I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: there is no evidence that he asked her out before the lake incident, no evidence that he asked her more than twice (at the lake and in seventh year when she presumably said yes) and absolutely no evidence that he stalked her, or even followed her around. No evidence of ridiculous nicknames on his part, no evidence that she felt anything but mild scorn and disappointment toward him in the first years of their relationship. Absolutely nothing.
I highly doubt James had to be told ‘no’ repeatedly, he was no fool, though maybe a little too loyal and trusting in his friends innate character. He would have known from her reaction that she wanted nothing to do with him right then, and after he cooled down he probably realized that if he really wanted to be with her he’d have to grow up, that he’d have to grow up anyways because the war in the outside world was showing no signs of going away.
I always thought that he spent much of sixth year trying to resist his childish impulses and urges to hex Snape and his merry band of bigotted fools, that Lily and Dumbledore both saw this and that it was why they both began to consider him, Dumbledore for head boy and Lily as a friend, and later as a boyfriend and husband. They saw that he was trying to mature of his own volition, regardless of reasons, and admired him for this. There aren’t many humans willing to actually address their ugliest flaws, much less correct them.
That all being said, Lily did not get together with him because of his determination/stubbornness/pig-headed foolishness, she got together with him because he grew past the nastier parts of his spoilt-child personality and let the bigger part of him that was good, funny and compassionate shine through.
It’s all well and good if you use ‘always’ and ‘until the end’ as your wedding vows, the sentiment is wonderful, but do so for the right reasons.
I agree. OP seems to have a fanon-influenced view of Jily rather than a canon-influenced one. Is it really so hard to believe that the girl he liked telling him a long list of reasons why he made her sick and why he was no better than Snape (someone he desperately despised who had just used a word so offensive James couldn’t even bring himself to repeat it) might have made James pull his socks up of his own accord? The comment by never-was-and-never-will-be is appropriate for the sort of relationship that OP described, but there’s no reason to think it describes canon Jily.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/a28e7c4da5a59bb6fdc487a26f07c5e2/tumblr_mmceb0bq111r19909o1_500.jpg)
I’ve always wanted a relationship like James and Lily. Because even though Lily stubbornly rejected him, he still chased after her. I would imagine that if she was mad at him, James would still chase after her. Because he loved her. I finally found a boy that pushes my buttons, and will chase after me. And instead of “I do”, our vows will be Harry Potter quotes. “Always.” And “Until the very end.” Because I’ll still love him until the end of time, always.
This is really not healthy. Boys who ignore your repeated “no”s because they go against their own desires are not safe boys to be around. They are not boys who love you. Boys who love you respect you. [And girls who love you respect you. And people who are third-gendered or gender-queer or agender respect you if they love you.] People who love you respect you. People who respect you listen to you the very first time you tell them no.
You called it “stubborn” for Lily to reject James when they were fifteen. Why did you do that? Isn’t it possible that she genuinely didn’t like him back then? If you liked a boy, you wouldn’t make him chase you, would you? You’d say yes the first time he asked. I hope you would, anyway, because it’s also extremely unhealthy to set up a relationship dynamic where one party is constantly being forced to prove themself to the other party and put up with bullshit mind games purely so that the other party can feel special.
I don’t like how most of the fandom entertains the idea that he asked her out every Hogsmeade weekend, month, week, day, hour, minute. I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: there is no evidence that he asked her out before the lake incident, no evidence that he asked her more than twice (at the lake and in seventh year when she presumably said yes) and absolutely no evidence that he stalked her, or even followed her around. No evidence of ridiculous nicknames on his part, no evidence that she felt anything but mild scorn and disappointment toward him in the first years of their relationship. Absolutely nothing.
I highly doubt James had to be told ‘no’ repeatedly, he was no fool, though maybe a little too loyal and trusting in his friends innate character. He would have known from her reaction that she wanted nothing to do with him right then, and after he cooled down he probably realized that if he really wanted to be with her he’d have to grow up, that he’d have to grow up anyways because the war in the outside world was showing no signs of going away.
I always thought that he spent much of sixth year trying to resist his childish impulses and urges to hex Snape and his merry band of bigotted fools, that Lily and Dumbledore both saw this and that it was why they both began to consider him, Dumbledore for head boy and Lily as a friend, and later as a boyfriend and husband. They saw that he was trying to mature of his own volition, regardless of reasons, and admired him for this. There aren’t many humans willing to actually address their ugliest flaws, much less correct them.
That all being said, Lily did not get together with him because of his determination/stubbornness/pig-headed foolishness, she got together with him because he grew past the nastier parts of his spoilt-child personality and let the bigger part of him that was good, funny and compassionate shine through.
It’s all well and good if you use ‘always’ and ‘until the end’ as your wedding vows, the sentiment is wonderful, but do so for the right reasons.
I agree. OP seems to have a fanon-influenced view of Jily rather than a canon-influenced one. Is it really so hard to believe that the girl he liked telling him a long list of reasons why he made her sick and why he was no better than Snape (someone he desperately despised who had just used a word so offensive James couldn’t even bring himself to repeat it) might have made James pull his socks up of his own accord? The comment by never-was-and-never-will-be is appropriate for the sort of relationship that OP described, but there’s no reason to think it describes canon Jily.
